Every day I drive 40 miles one way to work, the drive becomes monotonous and my mind begins to wander.   Sometimes I have my best ideas on my drive home from work.  I’ll turn the radio off and just listen to the noise of the road.   Recently, my mind has been wandering to the ‘what if’s’ of my life’s past.  The relationships, friendships, jobs, choices, etc.

I feel a myriad of emotions from anger, heartache, sadness, frustration, and even guilt.   I think of the friends I used to have, the relationships that went bad, the path I’ve been on, and even of some of the memories that I’ve forgotten.

I think about if my life would have been different if that one guy didn’t break up with me by leaving my stuff in my car.   I think about the day that I didn’t answer the phone calls of a friend…and the next time I saw him was at his funeral.   The “What if’s” are what I think about…what if I had changed his plans?  What if I was with him…would I be gone too?  What if I had never met him?  

What if I grew up in a small town? What if I had focused on college the first time around?  What if I didn’t get that job or take that promotion?  What if I didn’t resign?  What if I said this to her, acted sooner, kept my mouth shut – said yes instead of no? 

Almost like a tv drama, a song was instantly stuck in my head and I started to sing “some of God’s greatest gifts…are unanswered prayers.”   I laughed out loud.  Garth Brooks is one of my favorite artists but I haven’t listened to his music for a few months.  Obviously I needed to pay closer attention to the lessons I have learned in life and understand there is a reason for everything.   The adversity and choices I have made in my life have given me reasons to grow and change.  

I am thankful for those unanswered prayers, for life’s lessons about  heartache, loss, mistakes, and challenges.   

By having bad friends, I can recognize and appreciate the great friends.  From the boyfriends who broke my heart, I learned what was important to me in a relationship and how fragile love can be.  What if I wasn’t in that one place, at that one time, and his friend didn’t like my friend…I may not have been married to the same man and I don’t like the sound of that. 

For everything I have been through, the experiences that have shaped my life, have allowed me to understand and appreciate the gifts that I have now.

She had met the greatest guy she could imagine.  He was handsome, charming, humble, had a good job, funny, had a nice house.  He really seemed like he had his life together and she could see them spending their life together…and then, she met his mother.

She had given up on dating, tired of the loser boyfriends and the wanna be players vying for a one-night stand.   She had all but given up on the hope of meeting Mr. Right.  That’s when he showed up in her life.  Once she decided to look the other way, wham there he was in front of her face. 

All had been going well, romantic dinners, night out on the town, even a long weekend went well.   As the weekend approached he mentioned his family was getting together for dinner and he wanted her to come too. 

She was thrilled that he wanted to take the next step and introduce her to his family.  Unbeknownst to her, it was going to be a night to remember. 

From the moment she walked in the door, she was belittled, befuddled, bewildered, and bewitched.  Her clothes were wrong, her ideas were stupid, she didn’t care about that one thing, she must be better than the rest of them, she didn’t let their babies dogs lick off her plate.   What was wrong with her?  And then there was the whispering.  All she could think about is when they were going to leave.  But first, she had to hear all about his ex-girlfriends…what a treat!

She kept giving him the evil death stare, but all he would do is shrug his shoulders…only if there were a way out!!!!!

Sound familiar to anyone?  I’ve been there…a few times!!  What do you do?  Is it worth continuing to date the guy if the family is crazy??  Can you stand up for yourself without offending them or your boyfriend?

Continued from Part 3

She goes to the kitchen to get a drink of water.  She is exhausted and upset.  He goes to take a shower.  

Angry, she knows he is lying to her, probably that woman instinct kicking in.  An idea pops into her head.   She had printed the phone bill in case he denied the calls.  She reaches for her cell phone.

She blocks her number and dials. “Voice mail, please, please, please, voice mail”  She silently whispers.

“Hi this is Jessica, leave a message….” Fuming, she hangs up the phone.  As she’s sitting there she remembers his high school year books are on the top of a box in the office closet.  The first one falls off and the back cover opens to a love note from “your love Jessica Marie” and thinks ”Marie Jessica,  huh?”

Sitting in the living room with the yearbook open to the back page, she waits for him to get out of the shower.  He walks into the living room and sees what she has on her lap.

“What are you doing with that?” He asks.

“Dear Love” She pauses and looks at him.  The look on her face is telling him that she knows he was lying to her.  She looks back down at the book and loudly, almost obnoxiously, clears her throat.  “Uh hem! I love you so much…”

He is angry.  He grabs his keys, his wallet, and his phone and storms out of the house slamming the door behind him. 

She was right.  It wasn’t “just” a friend, it was an ex-girlfriend.  

Is this a clear bust?  Should he have left in anger?  Was it right for her to read his yearbook? Should he have been honest in the first place?  What should she do now?