I’m beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as a fairy tale wedding.  A young girl is swept off her feet by her magical prince charming, they fall in love, get married, and then live happily ever after in wedded marital bliss and make many offspring.

The closest example I have are my parents, married for 30 years – I know its been great but it hasn’t been perfect.  Are there any PERFECT marriages?  With the divorce rate skyrocketing every year – do you ever wonder why we get married at all?

Maybe we just be eternally dating or “committed” (ha! maybe we all are crazy).  My husband and I recently celebrated our 7th year wedding anniversary.  I have to tell you that we have been on some rocky roads but we work through it.   Seven years ago I would not have imagined that we are still struggling financially or still hoping for children.  I guess we all look for the happily ever after but know that reality will swoop in and bring us out of our dreams.   Or deep down we know that life is a challenge and we can dream of the best of life’s offers while know that it will be the speed bumps that will really determine the value of the good things life has to give.  

One other part about being married that I have difficulty grasping is duration of time.  It feels like we’re newlyweds but like we’ve known each other forever.   He is my best friend.  He knows me better than anyone on this planet – how to make me laugh, what I like and don’t, where I’m ticklish, and what to do to aggravate me (I’m not too fond of the last one).  He can tell my mood by how I walk in the door or by the sound of my voice.  He can understand what I’m saying when I glance into his eyes without speaking any words. 

Does our ‘happily ever after’ just depend on our definition of happy?  The best part about waking up every morning is knowing he is there to love me for who I am and I have him to love. 

Did you find your fairy tale?

An ultimate dilemma…telling your bff that she could do better.   I had a friend that would run from the good men and run to the men that you shouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole.  You know the type; no job, kinda ugly, body odor, temper, lives with parents, just got arrested.   Mmmm Sexy!

Girls night out would be great – get dressed up, look sexy, smellin’ good.  An evening of dancing, a little drinking, and lots of laughs.    We all probably had the hopes of finding a guy…sometimes we’d help each other ditch a few in the club.   But there would be the one guy that she would find…the biggest loser around and she would be attached.   The rest of us gals would stand back and say…”What is she thinking?” as we shook our heads in disapproval.

Is it up to us to say?  Don’t friends get some approval?  In my world - it depends.  I don’t have to date the guy that looks like Uncle Fester with a very bad temper problem, or the guy that gets me high from the smell of weed wafting off his leather jacket (in the middle of July) – did I mention he has an unusually large head?  She has to date him – not me.  Blech! 

So what do you do if you don’t approve?  My advice is to be her friend when she needs you as a friend.   Only give advice if she asks for it, unless, she is being used or abused.  When she asks for your advice, start with, “well, I don’t think you’re going to like what I’m about to say…but…” or “you know we wouldn’t be friends if I couldn’t be honest with you.”

Probably not the best thing to start with, “I think you’re an idiot or that guy is really gross,”  by this time she may already be in love with him and planning the color of your bridesmaid dress.  

So, what would you do to tell your friend she could do better?  What if she won’t hear any of it?  Has this ever happened to you?

Living together wasn’t her idea, it was his.  He had asked her for months to move in.   She resisted, liking the idea of having her own place, even if she was hardly ever there once they started dating.  She conceded, her lease was almost up anyway.  She wished they could move some place that was neutral territory – moving in to his place always made it feel like she was the guest. 

She quickly learned he was a cologne whore.   He had more bottles of cologne than she had pairs of underwear.  A nice smelling man has always gave her goose bumps, but did he really need a different smell for every day of the week?

Tonight was boys’ night out.  Thankful to have some free time to herself she hoped he would stay out of trouble.  He kissed her on the cheek and left.

The next morning she awoke early to him snoring beside her.  Hoping to get an early start on her weekend laundry, she grabbed an arm full of clothes from the hamper including the things he wore the night before.

A strange scent filled the air.   Even though he had a plethora of cologne choices, this was something different…but what?   She took a deep breath with his shirt held to her nose.  Again, not his… something sweeter, feminine.  “It can’t be” she thought to herself and smelled again.  Her temperature began to rise as she stood there staring at him in disbelief.

Is she smelling something funny?  Or is her smeller out of sorts?  What should she do next?